Filed under foundations, improving earning ability by lily on July 18, 2011 at 10:09 am
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One of the biggest struggles I have had has been the fear or rather expectation of rejection. What on earth you might say is this to do with money? Think about it. If you are trying to sell something while struggling with the expectation people will reject you then you will not be able to build a good enough relationship with anyone to be able to sell anything.
I heard someone explain what they called the belief expectation cycle. Basically if you believe that xyz will happen then you will behave as though it will. If you behave as though it will happen then it will happen. When it does happen it will reinforce your belief that xyz always happens to you so the cycle goes round again and again and again. It is not as if you realise what you are doing it just sort of happens. For some of us this is such an ingrained pattern of behaviour that it is normal and natural to us.
Ok we know the theory but how do we break out of it and create new behaviour patterns. Part of the answer is retraining. Not easy when the consequences of getting so embroiled in such a cycle has led to a lifetime of experiencing bad behaviour on the part of others. It does not matter whether it is bullying at school, mental health problems of those around you, or just being treated differently in the work environment. It all adds to the cycle of believing the wrong thing and it being reinforced.
It is like an invisible barrier stopping you from making progress. You struggle to use the right words to persuade people to buy from you so you do not sell anything. You have a good product and somehow manage to have a sales page that could sell but you struggle to believe that if you use an advert to draw attention to it that anyone will go to the sales page. Why bother having a decent Facebook page because no one will like it or if they do they will not be the sort of people you could sell that product to. You cannot believe that anyone else will help you promote your product as an affiliate so you don't try very hard to persuade anyone to do so.
See the importance of good foundations. See why handling money well comes under the umbrella of Lily the Pink Ministries CIC. One of the community benefit statements is to help those in mental distress. Trying to say which came first the mental distress or financial issues is no easier than trying to work out whether the chicken or egg came first. The classic answer is of course that they were both created at the same time so it is impossible to determine which was first.
If you have read our free eBook 12 stages to changing the world you will know that the first step is to recognise the problem and accept that you are responsible to do something to change the situation. I suppose that is why this is confession time. Like those who go to AA and stand up and say I am ____ and I am an alcoholic when they introduce themselves. Yes I know it will become easier the more soul wounds are healed by forgiveness but that in itself is a process. There you have it my confession about my challenge.
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work
Filed under about the Pounds CAN Meet The Ends model by lily on June 20, 2011 at 12:39 pm
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Making the pounds meet the ends has become increasingly harder in the past year or two. Food prices have gone up. Flour for example is twice the price now than it was a year ago. Everything that is made of flour has gone up in price as well as a result. Fuel prices have gone up whether you want to heat your home or run the car it costs a lot more now than it did. There are fewer jobs as organisations become leaner and meaner in order to survive. One organisation I know of had never had to shed jobs until last summer when they had a minor reorganisation. This summer they are having a major reorganisation and with 20-30% of the job disappearing. Even the tax man is getting tougher as they are trying even harder to find people who have tried to escape paying tax.
Everything is being squeezed and people are starting to squeal. Those who are squealing the loudest at the moment are those who are being asked to contribute to more to their pensions. A few years ago it would have been unheard of for people to threaten strike action because they were being asked to pay more for their pensions. There would be strikes for more pay or because people disagreed with government policy like becoming less dependent on coal as an energy source.
I have even had one person tell me that they intend to stay at home on the day of the strikes in case they get caught up in any unpleasantness. This is because strikes by angry people have in the past turned very unpleasant. Even the strikers have called some situations battles. Hardly surprising when the TV showed police in riot gear and people from both sides walk away from the scene covered in blood. I am hoping that this is an over reaction but only time will tell.
Somehow we need to find other ways in which to make the pounds meet the ends. The aim of one of the course that we are working on at the moment is to help people find alternative ways of surviving the current situation. It is based on our bridge model where we look at how to make good choices in terms of spending and finding an income because the right foundations are in place. I wish it did not take so long to prepare these materials as they are needed today not next month. There again good things take time to produce.
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about the Pounds CAN Meet The Ends model,
pounds,
work
Filed under bridge the gap and make the ends meet by using a plan by lily on June 6, 2011 at 10:45 am
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Yesterday I decided to go on a field trip to research bridges and buildings. I had driven through Bridge Place but had never stopped there. This time I took my camera and had a walk around. With a name like that it had to be a good place to think about bridges. Bridge Place is literally a small collection of houses next to a bridge. That bridge carries a railway line across the road. It is quite a narrow archway by today's standards and on a bend so there are traffic lights for safety reasons.
I was looking at bridges to get more ideas for writing about how we use money. I found so many ideas that there is not room here to share all of them but I will share a couple. Beware though they both be sparks that could start you thinking about possible problems and add a number of items to your jobs to do list. .
This bridge I had a look at is obviously quite an old bridge. it is built of stone that has weathered over time. Looking closely at it it was probably built of the local yellow limestone although these days at a distance it is the dirt on top that makes it appear so dark. It is curious looking at how an old bridge has survived. There are holes where there used to be signs, some filled in and some not. The face of the stones is no longer smooth as it has weathered unevenly. There are also signs of where it has been repaired in the past with new mortar to fill the gaps between the stones.
I realised that although we can plan our finances and think that everything is OK. Those plans get older and need to be revisited. There is nothing wrong with leaving the surface dirt on them indeed if they are cleaned up too much then it could damage the structure. On the other hand, there could be cracks as things have shifted. In terms of dealing with finances this could mean that the money we have in one savings plan that seemed to offer very good interest when we opened now pays very little interest at all. Or that gas supplier could be charging a lot more now than they once did and it would be cheaper for you to change suppliers. Just as the bridge owners have a maintenance plan where they regularly check their bridges we need to have a regular maintenance plan so that we check our finances to see if we are receiving as much interest as we could for our savings or not spending more than we need on certain items. This regular ongoing maintenance will make sure that we stay as safe as possible.
Another thing I noticed was a sign from the people responsible for looking after the bridge. It gave a phone number and said that if anyone ran into that bridge they were to ring that number and tell them. It gave a reference number for the bridge and even the address to use when reporting an accident. It said at the bottom that it was important to report accidents as it could make the bridge unsafe for trains to use.
How many of us think we are reasonably secure in terms of finances and then something happens? Someone runs into our car and the main breadwinner ends up in hospital. It could be a temporary set back that is fairly easy to recover from. Or it could mean that they are left permanently disabled and have to make many adjustments to their life including finding a job that is better suited to their new situation. Or worse still the family has to continue without them. Do your plans include what some people call putting aside something for a rainy day? Is your emergency plan your credit card or do you have some savings that you can draw on? Have you insured your home so that if something goes happens you can recover easily?
See what about about setting you thinking about two major areas?
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Filed under the income mindset, the spending mindset by lily on May 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm
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What on earth do you mean a battle with money? Ever thought of money being a like a power that it it is nor controlled and used in the right way it will cause problems for you and those around you. In recent years I have have become aware of some of the battles that I have with money. Here are some of the ones that I have identified.
- Buying only what I need when you are surrounded by people and organizations who are trying to entice you to buy their product or service. Their challenge is to sell as much as possible. The challenge is to chose your purchases wisely no matter what the pressure that is put on you.
- What is an acceptable level of need? for example I will hardly every buy meat or bread at full price. It will be something that is on offer. Everything I buy is carefully chosen so that I get the most product for the money spent. I see something cheap and stock up on it whether it is kept in the cupboard, fridge or freezer. Being careful has become second nature. So much so that letting go of the tight purse strings is difficult.
- There are times when I do loosen the purse strings and spend a bit more I find myself struggling because I end up spending more than I have. I then clamp down hard to the point of punishing myself and keep my spending down to a level below what is needed to be comfortable. By comfortable I don't mean reckless. The problem is finding the balance between sensible control and self discipline that hurts.
- Another challenge I have had is receiving money. This was most obvious when I was a teenager living with my parents and when I was married. I developed an expectation that if I asked them for money the answer would be no, it is a waste of my hard-earned money letting you have something. I thought that their priorities meant that there were more important things to spend their money on. There were times when I and my then husband would spend the same amount of money a month. He would spend that money while at the pub and I would use what I had to make sure the three of us had food and clothes. Even he at the end of our marriage recognized that there were times when he had spent more than he should have done on beer etc than he should have done. These days people think that I live cheaply but in those days buying meat for a casserole was a luxury, these days it is normal. I did not realize it then but I have recognized it since that one of the big issues that make it hard to use money wisely is that it is linked to honour and value.
- These days I am trying to build up a business and the challenge relating to money has changed. i have been looking at many training programs or more accurately previews or launch information for such programs. Not only that there are many get rich quick schemes out there. Follow my system that I have proved works and you too can become a millionaire in a few months. Use the same system as I do and you will be able to have the free time to do what you want to do and you will not be chained to a workplace. You will be your own boss The problem has become what is ethically acceptable in terms of making money. So much of what passes for selling is really tapping into the greed of people. Now some of these people do have good systems for doing something that you can learn from but quite a number of them have different ethical values to me. They want to make as much money for themselves as possible rather than to make sure that the maximum number of people are helped to overcome a problem. There is nothing wrong with making a profit but fleecing either customers or employees is unacceptable.
- On the other hand there is an expectation within certain sectors of the community that everything they need will be provided free of charge. This is often because someone else has paid for it like the government subsidies which make it possible to run free business support workshops and free or cheaper college courses. Churches and charities are often the worst culprits in this respect.because they expect to get labour, products and services for little or no cost. Those who are used to be treated as recipients of charity such as those on low incomes or with a disability can easily develop this kind of expectation as well. If someone charged them a fair price for a product or service they would balk at paying them and look around for someone to do it for nothing. The battle here then becomes if you try and provide a service to that sector of the community you will struggle to persuade them to pay you. Quite a challenge if, like me, some or all of your target market is in that part of the community.
- Another challenge is the expectation is that anyone working for an organization where the idea of benefiting the community is stronger than the profit motive should be paid the minimum rates rather than the standard going rate for the job. If they are paid the same as someone in an equivalent organization would be there is an outcry at the money that cannot be spent to benefit the community. Lily the Pink Ministries is a Community Interest Company so it has a community benefit statement. Because of this structure there is pressure from some sources to make sure that I only ever take the absolute minimum amount from the business i.e. a basic survival income rather than a sensible or realistic salary. The CIC regulator would have something to say if the directors were given fat cat salaries but the question is not whether it is excessive but the going rate for the type of work undertaken.
I surprised myself when i realised how many battles that I have had with money over the years. I would guess that you have had your own battles with money. Are any of them the same as the ones I have had? Are any of them different? On the other hand do you even think that there is a battle with money? I would love to hear your views.
Tags:
budget,
building,
business,
domestic economy,
expenditure,
frugal lifestyle,
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money,
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planning,
spending,
the income mindset,
the spending mindset,
unrealistic expectations,
value,
work
Filed under the income mindset, the spending mindset by lily on April 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm
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What is it about money that stirs up so many emotional reactions? It stirs up greed, i.e. the fear that we do not have all we need or should have. It stirs up jealousy and envy i.e. the fear that they have more than us and the expectation that we should have more. It stirs ups the desire to do all kinds of wrong doing so that we get all we want. Somehow we need to control our reactions towards money.
It is the fear that we do not have all that we need that leads to use borrowing money only to then get into difficulties. It is the expectation that we should have more that causes us to demand higher pay, or claim expenses that stretch the rules beyond breaking point etc. It is the desire to get money to pay for their drug habit that leads some towards prostitution or theft. No wonder people are afraid of money.
Money is simply a tool a tool that can be used for good or evil. Problem is people fall in love with it or rather what they can do with it if they have it. Once this happens, money controls them and they do all sorts of things that they would not do otherwise. However we need to learn how to use money wisely. The simplest, and yet in some ways the hardest way of doing this, is to decide what your objectives are and make a plan so that you can achieve them. Not only does this take a lot of discipline but it also takes a lot of heart searching to work out what you really want to achieve.
There are choices to make. For example, do you want the most a cup of coffee every day or to pay off your credit cards? You would probably be amazed if you added up the total of what you spend a year on cups of coffee just on the days you are at work (£2 a day for 5 days a week for 48 weeks a year works out at £480 a year). This is why it is so important to develop a spending plan. We are in the process of updating the materials that we created some time a go so tha tthey are suitable for adding to a membership web site.
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budget,
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decreasing spending,
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domestic economy,
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emotional reactions,
emotions,
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foundations,
frugal lifestyle,
greed,
household,
income,
increasing income,
inspiration,
jealousy,
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minimise,
personal financial plan,
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work
Filed under by lily on April 29, 2011 at 6:50 pm
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My name is Susan and I started using this domain name in 2001. At that time the name I used for the site was Making the Pounds Meet the Ends. It was a site based on pages that I created using plain html coding. The aim was to create a British web site to rival some of the many American web sites that promoted a thrifty lifestyle.
The problem was that I had come make a virtue of keeping my spending under strict control. I had developed a mindset that said if you are going to be accepted you are going to have to spend as little as possible. I kept looking for more and more ways to reduce what I was spending. My expectation was that I had to be kept poor because I did not deserve to have enough money to be comfortable. There were definitely times when I could have had more money but would not accept it if it was offered or even ask for it. There were even times when I refused to accept any more because I had to be kept on a restricted budget.
I knew that I had to make what money I had go as far as I could and make the pounds meet the ends. Things have changed a bit since I created the original Making the Pounds web site. I have learnt that I can have money. I have learnt that others care enough about me to let me have money and things rather than keep me seriously restricted. I don’t have to go without things simply because I deserve to have my needs met.
What do I do now? I wanted to redevelop this old site using blogging software. I started by using the same name and logo but I was quite uncomfortable because of the way that things had changed. I sat and thought a while about what else I could call a blog with domain name. I wrote the words out and then realised that I could change it to Pounds Can Meet the Ends. Was can the right word? What others could be used in a similar way? There was should, would could, shall and may. None of them was any better so it became Pounds Can Meet the Ends. Strange how a domain name chosen so long ago could be used for a blog that has a quite different perspective. I changed the words in the image that I used for the heading.
Making the Pounds Meet the Ends was one of two courses that was developed after I did a course design course. The other was Surviving a Household Emergency. They were both accredited with the Open College Network. These ideas have lasted the test of time. Now a start has been made in adapting them to an online format. Well they were put into one online format but when we moved to a new hosting company we ended up adding the text to a different sort of software. Something that you will find easier to use as this sort of software is so much more familiar.
I did one book and I found it so interesting. It started with stories and pictures that had hooks that the things that I wanted to cover could be hung on. I did another and it was boring and dull and was solid text. A tough read if ever there was one. I had a book on developing a household spending plan that was was also dull and boring. I wanted to make it more interesting. I prayed for inspiration and got it. That was where the idea of making comparisons to a bridge started to be developed. The logo was adapted slightly so that the text was moved up so that it looked more like a bridge.You will see as things develop what this idea of a bridge means but it will be interesting.
Tags:
breaking point,
brick,
bridge,
budget,
building,
business,
change,
decreasing spending,
discipline,
domestic economy,
earning,
emotional reactions,
emotions,
expectation,
expenditure,
fear,
foundations,
frugal lifestyle,
greed,
household,
increasing income,
inspiration,
jealousy,
journey,
minimise,
money,
personal financial plan,
pillars,
planning,
relationship,
span,
towers,
unrealistic expectations,
value,
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