Filed under the income mindset, the spending mindset by lily on May 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm
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What on earth do you mean a battle with money? Ever thought of money being a like a power that it it is nor controlled and used in the right way it will cause problems for you and those around you. In recent years I have have become aware of some of the battles that I have with money. Here are some of the ones that I have identified.
- Buying only what I need when you are surrounded by people and organizations who are trying to entice you to buy their product or service. Their challenge is to sell as much as possible. The challenge is to chose your purchases wisely no matter what the pressure that is put on you.
- What is an acceptable level of need? for example I will hardly every buy meat or bread at full price. It will be something that is on offer. Everything I buy is carefully chosen so that I get the most product for the money spent. I see something cheap and stock up on it whether it is kept in the cupboard, fridge or freezer. Being careful has become second nature. So much so that letting go of the tight purse strings is difficult.
- There are times when I do loosen the purse strings and spend a bit more I find myself struggling because I end up spending more than I have. I then clamp down hard to the point of punishing myself and keep my spending down to a level below what is needed to be comfortable. By comfortable I don't mean reckless. The problem is finding the balance between sensible control and self discipline that hurts.
- Another challenge I have had is receiving money. This was most obvious when I was a teenager living with my parents and when I was married. I developed an expectation that if I asked them for money the answer would be no, it is a waste of my hard-earned money letting you have something. I thought that their priorities meant that there were more important things to spend their money on. There were times when I and my then husband would spend the same amount of money a month. He would spend that money while at the pub and I would use what I had to make sure the three of us had food and clothes. Even he at the end of our marriage recognized that there were times when he had spent more than he should have done on beer etc than he should have done. These days people think that I live cheaply but in those days buying meat for a casserole was a luxury, these days it is normal. I did not realize it then but I have recognized it since that one of the big issues that make it hard to use money wisely is that it is linked to honour and value.
- These days I am trying to build up a business and the challenge relating to money has changed. i have been looking at many training programs or more accurately previews or launch information for such programs. Not only that there are many get rich quick schemes out there. Follow my system that I have proved works and you too can become a millionaire in a few months. Use the same system as I do and you will be able to have the free time to do what you want to do and you will not be chained to a workplace. You will be your own boss The problem has become what is ethically acceptable in terms of making money. So much of what passes for selling is really tapping into the greed of people. Now some of these people do have good systems for doing something that you can learn from but quite a number of them have different ethical values to me. They want to make as much money for themselves as possible rather than to make sure that the maximum number of people are helped to overcome a problem. There is nothing wrong with making a profit but fleecing either customers or employees is unacceptable.
- On the other hand there is an expectation within certain sectors of the community that everything they need will be provided free of charge. This is often because someone else has paid for it like the government subsidies which make it possible to run free business support workshops and free or cheaper college courses. Churches and charities are often the worst culprits in this respect.because they expect to get labour, products and services for little or no cost. Those who are used to be treated as recipients of charity such as those on low incomes or with a disability can easily develop this kind of expectation as well. If someone charged them a fair price for a product or service they would balk at paying them and look around for someone to do it for nothing. The battle here then becomes if you try and provide a service to that sector of the community you will struggle to persuade them to pay you. Quite a challenge if, like me, some or all of your target market is in that part of the community.
- Another challenge is the expectation is that anyone working for an organization where the idea of benefiting the community is stronger than the profit motive should be paid the minimum rates rather than the standard going rate for the job. If they are paid the same as someone in an equivalent organization would be there is an outcry at the money that cannot be spent to benefit the community. Lily the Pink Ministries is a Community Interest Company so it has a community benefit statement. Because of this structure there is pressure from some sources to make sure that I only ever take the absolute minimum amount from the business i.e. a basic survival income rather than a sensible or realistic salary. The CIC regulator would have something to say if the directors were given fat cat salaries but the question is not whether it is excessive but the going rate for the type of work undertaken.
I surprised myself when i realised how many battles that I have had with money over the years. I would guess that you have had your own battles with money. Are any of them the same as the ones I have had? Are any of them different? On the other hand do you even think that there is a battle with money? I would love to hear your views.
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unrealistic expectations,
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Filed under the income mindset, the spending mindset by lily on April 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm
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What is it about money that stirs up so many emotional reactions? It stirs up greed, i.e. the fear that we do not have all we need or should have. It stirs up jealousy and envy i.e. the fear that they have more than us and the expectation that we should have more. It stirs ups the desire to do all kinds of wrong doing so that we get all we want. Somehow we need to control our reactions towards money.
It is the fear that we do not have all that we need that leads to use borrowing money only to then get into difficulties. It is the expectation that we should have more that causes us to demand higher pay, or claim expenses that stretch the rules beyond breaking point etc. It is the desire to get money to pay for their drug habit that leads some towards prostitution or theft. No wonder people are afraid of money.
Money is simply a tool a tool that can be used for good or evil. Problem is people fall in love with it or rather what they can do with it if they have it. Once this happens, money controls them and they do all sorts of things that they would not do otherwise. However we need to learn how to use money wisely. The simplest, and yet in some ways the hardest way of doing this, is to decide what your objectives are and make a plan so that you can achieve them. Not only does this take a lot of discipline but it also takes a lot of heart searching to work out what you really want to achieve.
There are choices to make. For example, do you want the most a cup of coffee every day or to pay off your credit cards? You would probably be amazed if you added up the total of what you spend a year on cups of coffee just on the days you are at work (£2 a day for 5 days a week for 48 weeks a year works out at £480 a year). This is why it is so important to develop a spending plan. We are in the process of updating the materials that we created some time a go so tha tthey are suitable for adding to a membership web site.
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budget,
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emotional reactions,
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Filed under by lily on April 29, 2011 at 6:50 pm
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My name is Susan and I started using this domain name in 2001. At that time the name I used for the site was Making the Pounds Meet the Ends. It was a site based on pages that I created using plain html coding. The aim was to create a British web site to rival some of the many American web sites that promoted a thrifty lifestyle.
The problem was that I had come make a virtue of keeping my spending under strict control. I had developed a mindset that said if you are going to be accepted you are going to have to spend as little as possible. I kept looking for more and more ways to reduce what I was spending. My expectation was that I had to be kept poor because I did not deserve to have enough money to be comfortable. There were definitely times when I could have had more money but would not accept it if it was offered or even ask for it. There were even times when I refused to accept any more because I had to be kept on a restricted budget.
I knew that I had to make what money I had go as far as I could and make the pounds meet the ends. Things have changed a bit since I created the original Making the Pounds web site. I have learnt that I can have money. I have learnt that others care enough about me to let me have money and things rather than keep me seriously restricted. I don’t have to go without things simply because I deserve to have my needs met.
What do I do now? I wanted to redevelop this old site using blogging software. I started by using the same name and logo but I was quite uncomfortable because of the way that things had changed. I sat and thought a while about what else I could call a blog with domain name. I wrote the words out and then realised that I could change it to Pounds Can Meet the Ends. Was can the right word? What others could be used in a similar way? There was should, would could, shall and may. None of them was any better so it became Pounds Can Meet the Ends. Strange how a domain name chosen so long ago could be used for a blog that has a quite different perspective. I changed the words in the image that I used for the heading.
Making the Pounds Meet the Ends was one of two courses that was developed after I did a course design course. The other was Surviving a Household Emergency. They were both accredited with the Open College Network. These ideas have lasted the test of time. Now a start has been made in adapting them to an online format. Well they were put into one online format but when we moved to a new hosting company we ended up adding the text to a different sort of software. Something that you will find easier to use as this sort of software is so much more familiar.
I did one book and I found it so interesting. It started with stories and pictures that had hooks that the things that I wanted to cover could be hung on. I did another and it was boring and dull and was solid text. A tough read if ever there was one. I had a book on developing a household spending plan that was was also dull and boring. I wanted to make it more interesting. I prayed for inspiration and got it. That was where the idea of making comparisons to a bridge started to be developed. The logo was adapted slightly so that the text was moved up so that it looked more like a bridge.You will see as things develop what this idea of a bridge means but it will be interesting.
Tags:
breaking point,
brick,
bridge,
budget,
building,
business,
change,
decreasing spending,
discipline,
domestic economy,
earning,
emotional reactions,
emotions,
expectation,
expenditure,
fear,
foundations,
frugal lifestyle,
greed,
household,
increasing income,
inspiration,
jealousy,
journey,
minimise,
money,
personal financial plan,
pillars,
planning,
relationship,
span,
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unrealistic expectations,
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